Dear Crying Girl,
I spotted you today. Your eyes ringed red from crying, cellphone in your hand, talking to a friend. I didn’t want to eavesdrop, but you stood a foot, or so, from where I was changing Julia after her swim class.
“Why?” You kept asking your friend. “Why, won’t he call me back?” You followed up with some questions that are all to familiar to me. “Why won’t he talk to me?” “Why did he break-up with me?” And then the most common one, “What did I do wrong?”
I longed to go over there and give you a hug. I wanted to wipe your tears, sit you down, and talk to you. I wanted to let you know a few things that only age can know.
You look young, maybe 14? I know some of this will be hard to hear while you are in such pain, but here you go.
He won’t be the only love you have, and most likely lose. Chances are you’ll feel this pain a couple more times and then, one day, maybe 5, or 10 years out, you’ll meet that someone. The someone you are meant to be with.
Don’t focus on what you did wrong. I’m pretty sure you didn’t do anything wrong. At your age, you can’t really do anything right, or wrong. You simply need to be you and be true to yourself. Don’t ever do anything to keep a boy. You shouldn’t need to. If he likes you, he likes you.
Instead, of crying over this boy, let him go, let it be. Go out have fun, invest in yourself. Play sports, take music lessons, hang out with your friends. When you least expect it, that right person will appear. Trust me, I know. I really do.
And now I want to thank you. You provided me with an opportunity for me to talk a little bit about boys with Julia. At 7, she may not understand what exactly was going on, but I did get the chance to to chat with her about feeling good about herself, about self-esteem.
Is there anything you’d like to let the crying girl know?